space ace - brett smiley

there comes a time in every submale's life where he has to decide whether to remain in his ego, playing at submission - or to fully embrace that submission and live the dream.

there's nothing intrinsically wrNog with a male deciding to express his sexuality in terms of his own pleasure. difficulties arise when the same male chooses to describe himself as a "slave".

most males stop at porn/fantasy and never get beyond that. their egos won't let them.

Women can mistake these males for the real thing and attempt to build a life around what they say they want. but it's impossible to develop any relationship with someone who isn't being realistic about their wants/needs.

in this case, it doesn't matter which party isn't being truthful - nor does it matter whether the dishonesty is born of ignorance or malice. the end result is the same.

porn, like the majority of drugs, costs money - because it's better than real life. it's a focusing in on tiny fragments of the real world and excluding everything else.

problems kick in when the male spends too large a percentage of his life in porn (or his drug-of-choice). the same mechanism that makes the regular user of mind-altering preparations start to blur the distinction between "reality" and "dreams".

to be with You - the jack rubies

"the trick with pornography is, you have to let go of the thought that you're looking at a picture of something you're not doing".

i wish i could remember where i read that now. it's true, though. brutally and bloodily true.

one problem with porn, from a male sub perspective, is that it feels a lot nicer to imagine a savage beating from a Beautiful, Cruel Woman than it feels to actually experience it.

a thrashing will hurt. it may well leave marks. it may make sitting or lying difficult for a day or two. so where do thrashings come from?

effectively, there are two forms of thrashing; play and punishment. the first is a reward, is enjoyable. the second is meant to hurt.

when Mistress wants to play, i can expect to be thrashed gently, taken up fairly slowly, hand in hand with my endorphins, riding my "home-made heroin" to subspace.

if Mistress is displeased however, there will be no build-up. the purpose of punishment is to give me boundaries. when i get it wrong or let Her down, i am given a physical reminder that i'm to do better next time.

dream baby dream - suicide

for most males (and yeah, i'm basing this on my own experience) what attracts us to the Female Dominant lifestyle in the first place is a combination of the ego and pornography. i make no bones about it - when i was an adolescent, thinking about being restrained - or even being beaten - by Women and Girls - excited me. more than anything else i could imagine.

adolescence raised the bar. body hair, mood-swings and touching myself every chance i got. even if i wasn't hauling at my meat, i was day-dreaming about it. if there was a power imbalance to be imagined, the chances are, i've brooded about it at one time or another.

the thing is, there's a world of difference between fantasy and reality. in fantasies, there are no limits - whether in choice of partner(s) or in activities. reality is a whole 'nother sack of squirrels.

just as real live Women don't have staples round their navels, fantasy Dommes have only attractive personality-facets.

fantasy-Dommes don't menstruate, for instance, unless the guy with a handful of his lap gets off on it.

the male ego leads to erection leads to fantasy leads to male orgasm. this is pretty much compulsory from adolescence for a good few years. after that, it's time to shit or get off the pot, as my sunday-school teacher used to say.

the servant - tv smith's explorers

i'm thinking about what i wrote yesterday about Women's bad behaviour. i hope this didn't come across as anti-Women. that wasn't my intention at all.

i love my Owner. i'd do anything for Her. but that doesn't mean i'm at the beck and call of Anybody with a uterus.

if Mistress chooses to put me in Someone Else's hands, then i obey. but where some Woman starts treating me like Her property purely because of the y chromosome, i get out of there fast.

the collar i wear makes me Mistress' property, not that of every Woman in the world.

remember, margaret thatcher was a Woman. so was myra hindlay.

the trick is, when it comes to slavery, to prepare the ground properly first. whether owning or being owned, it's only sensible to pick S/someone whose kinks match your own. a Sadistic Dacryphiliac and an adult baby/cuddle-bug are not a match made in heaven.

you need Someone with the same tastes as you. music, books, music, television, politics.. where there's a disagreement, this puts a strain on the power imbalance that brought you together.

and remember, you're there to fit into Her life, not the other way round. you exist for Her comfort, pleasure and convenience. if She wants to watch celebrity big brother at the same time as you want to listen to the metallica bootleg She let you buy, Who do you think wins?

at least if you share Her tastes, then popular culture will be a link, not a wedge, between you.

friends - adam & the ants

you know the sort - those "i rule the fucking universe" types. the ones who stamp and roar through life like its always somebody else's fault.

i'd met Her through my Mistress originally. She owned a slave too and since we all lived quite close, She'd got it into Her head somehow that w/we were all going to be best f/friends.

since i'd just met them, i assumed they were Mistress' friends. and neither of them said or did anything to contradict me. i thought they were a rock-solid, 24/7, Mistress/slave couple.

the reality was *entirely* different. it was his first bdsm relationship. and She'd been a sub up till they'd met - two months before i met them.

and, surprise surprise, their happy-ever-after hit the rocks. fast. hurt feelings, threats 'n' swearing. She blamed his vanilla girlfriend; he blamed Her husband - "knows what i do, but not involved". attempting to pour oil, i had first Her, then a drunk and weeping him shouting down the phone. shouting things meant for their respective nillas. or, at a push, each other.

She started off blaming me for his faults, then the shortcomings of our entire gender - then quickly spread out to encompass things like american foreign policy and the rise of militant islam.

Her tone was snappy, i had a real sense i was being spoken down to. and She ordered me to contact Her slave or ex-slave (it varied from moment to moment).

i caught up with Mistress later that evening. i explained what'd happened - and how i felt about how i'd been treated by her "Friend".

Mistress told me to cut contact with them both and that She'd deal with it.

although i identify myself as a Female Supremacist, there's only *one* Woman whose orders i jump at - and i have Her initials on my arse!